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Posts Tagged ‘turbomovie2013’

poster_turboWhat a complete cliche from start to finish. And it’s a snail. How many kids do you see going to bed with a stuffed snail toy tucked under their blankets? It’s. A. Snail.

Turbo is a wanna be snail, voiced by Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool), who dreams of being as fast as race cars and through a series of events is infused with nitrous oxide and he suddenly finds himself just that fast. He is later discovered by a hapless food truck driver who fights for Turbo to race in the Indy 500 as a promotional stunt for his brother’s taco shop.

This movie is so high concept for me, it may as well have been written by John Waters. I just couldn’t wrap my imagination around the fact that the main character is a snail attempting to race humans in one of the fastest racing events in its sport. That being the core of the main plot for this movie makes the movie itself so stupid it attracts flies.

I dug a bit into who made this pile of steam dung and behold the talents of director David Soren who was responsible for another notorious fuckball of an animated feature Shark Tale (2004). He also penned the script which was hopelessly reworked by two other writers with far better talents and credits than him. I’m not impressed with any of them.

The worst part of this film is it uses every animated cinematic convention established since the millennium. The end of the big race and the races have to push, pull or drag their way across the finish line. The hapless loser reflective character, in this case Tito, voiced by Michael Pena (World Trade Center), who always means well but can’t do anything right. A variety of stereotypes supporting characters which prove to offer nothing to the story. It’s all there. Again.

On a politically liberal note, having young kids myself, I get aggravated to see animated movies revel in stereotypes especially ethnic. And I’m not talking about the hip-hop stereotypical snail character voiced by Snoop Lion (Dogg at the time). Stereotypes created by a culture surrounding a musical influence is usually prone and deserving satirical representation. I’m talking about the Hispanic, Korean and French stereotypes involved in highly ethnic characters. It’s simply not needed to represent even animated characters in embarrassing representations like that.

Overall, this was a waste of time from start to finish. The sad thing is my kids seem to enjoy it. Their stupidity detectors are still developing though.

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